One of the things in life that I really dislike is arguing.  I dislike it even more when I do it in front of other people.  But even if we don't like it, things happen.  I got snippy with Shaun, while some of our friends were over to play a game.  It wasn't even that I was mad at him... I had just gotten annoyed earlier in the day because he, as I saw it, wasn't answering my question but was just being indecisive.  Maybe it was my headache, or that I had been hot and uncomfortable for most of the day.  Maybe I, like Shaun, need to get out of the house and do something otherwise I get grumpy.  Although the truth of it is I get annoyed fairly often.  Mostly with defendants who call on the phone with stupid questions, or just with the same questions over and over and over again.  It gets rather annoying having to repeat yourself all day long; if 15 different people ask me how they go about electing traffic school on their ticket, well I have to explain the entire process 15 different times, then!  It gets frustrating sometimes.  Although I do get annoyed with my co-workers at times, too.  I get annoyed on the drive home too.  So by the time I get home to Shaun, some days I've just been constantly feeling annoyed!  So then he suffers for it.  But how do I keep myself from getting annoyed?  Find the hidden well of patience that has surely dried up inside me and somehow get it filled again?  Seems unlikely if not impossible.  I guess it's just the way my attitude has shifted over the years.  I was easily annoyed when I worked at Wal-Mart, too, some 4-6 years ago I think.  Maybe I just take after my mother.  She seems to get easily annoyed too.  Although I attribute that to her being depressed; or maybe it's just her personality.

This is why I hate and yet love introspection.  I love to find out what's wrong with me.  But I hate that I can never find out how to change it.  Or maybe it's just that I don't want to (am afraid to?).  Or maybe I just give up too easily.  Ahhh, who knows.  It's all so very... bothersome.

So my mom and stepdad are currently down here in FL.  Shaun and I went down to their condo for the weekend.  Saturday they didn't check-in until after 4pm, so they spent the night getting settled in.  Sunday we hung out for a bit, then we got together to meet Shaun's mom and have dinner at Chili's.  It wasn't too bad, actually.  The only awkward thing was when Chuck made reference to his mom's recent death.  Apparently on Saturday mom was channel surfing on the TV, and she paused on a channel where the character said, "Mrs. Fischer died last Friday."  Well, Chuck's last name is... Fischer, and his mom died last Friday.  He made reference to Murphy's Law or some-such (as he constantly does) and it was a little weird when he told the story to Shaun and I but it was ok.  But he told it to Shaun's mom, whom he'd just met... how's she supposed to take something like that?  I mean, do you laugh, do you say 'oh i'm so sorry for your loss' or just let it go with a polite smile?  (she chose the polite smile)  I guess I should be grateful that he didn't make any references to my mom's IBS problem.  Cause he sure did that a lot while we were there.  We were there 2 days... how many IBS comments/jibes can you get in???  A lot apparently.

ANYWAY..... Monday we talked about going to the pool but ended up sleeping in till almost 10, then I turned the TV on and found the middle of Music and Lyrics that I always wanted to see.  Then after that Life Free or Die Hard came on, and seeing as how Mom and Chuck had just seen the beginning of it and not had the chance to see the whole thing, we watched that too.  Then a storm came and it was raining and thundering which equals no swimming.  So we played cards, had dinner and Shaun and I went home.

the end.  : )

It's unusual for me to be able to make an entry in the morning, since I'm usually rushing around trying to get ready for work.  But today I have a spare minute, and today I'm super-happy because I've reached another mini-goal in my weight loss adventure: I now we less than 195.  YAY!  *does a victory dance*  That makes for a total of  very-close-to-15 pounds lost since we started this diet.  I wish the weight would come off faster, but that's just because I'm impatient.  ^_^  So I updated my "pie chart" (hehe!) to show as much.  ^_^

I hope you have a super day!!  : )

Yesterday I had an urge to go shopping.  I needed to stop at Target to get some more Atkins shakes since they sell them at the cheapest price around here (even cheaper than Wal-Mart, thankfully!).  So I went to Target; ended up getting a cute pair of pink heart socks for $.50, a plastic pumpkin with a skull and crossbones on it that lights up (I'm trying to do a pirate halloween theme) and a cute little pumpkin waterglobe with a ghost inside.  After that, I decided to get a couple more ceramic bears from the Dollar Tree, so I drove to the other side of the mall and parked outside of Books-A-Million.  I cut through there, and bought a cute Halloween ceramic bear and 3 more Christmas ceramic bears.  On my way back to my car, as I was cutting through Books-A-Million, I had an urge to buy a book.  I wasn't really sure what I was looking for, just that I wanted--needed?--something.  So I started looking around for a self-help section, since I had remembered a book my mom has that I also wanted to get a copy of.  Well now-a-days apparently it's called the "personal growth" section, which I guess makes more sense.  So I started browsing, looking at the different titles, and in particular looking for the astrology/personality-type books.  Instead, I found a bunch of books on grieving.  One in particular seemed to jump out at me: I wasn't ready to say goodbye and somehow I knew it was what I had been looking for.  It turns out there is a book, and there is a workbook version of it; I purchased the workbook version.  Here's a brief history on why a book like that would speak to me:

My best friend was diagnosed with rhabdomyo sarcoma, a very aggressive cancer rare in adults, and died about 1-2 months later.  This was 2 years ago, on February 14, 2006.  I have had a very difficult time dealing with the loss, and last year, around August, I was in pretty bad shape.  It got to the point where I was just so depressed that it could no longer be ignored, and Shaun was very concerned.  We ended up talking about it due to certain circumstances, and we both agreed that maybe I should see a therapist or something, that maybe it would help.  So into my life comes June, a sweet woman who did her best in 5 visits (that's what was free w/my insurance and I didn't really want to pay for it).  It didn't really help a whole lot, but I did cheer up after it and was able to get out of my depression and be myself again.  Basically what it came down to is that I was still grieving, and actually still am.  So, I'm doing what I can to deal with it and hopefully not get so sad so often.  I was happy to find something to help me... I want to stop being so sad, but I'm not good at figuring out how to do that.  So the book is helping me find the "how" of this part of my life.

So Shaun and I have been eating low-carb since August 15th, 2008.  So far, it's working out pretty well.  We started after we came back from vacation in Arizona (one of my friends from college got married).  At first I have to admit I was skeptical.  I mean, I wanted it to work but I still wondered if it actually would.  I've tried dieting in the past and all I could manage to do was keep myself at the same weight, not actually lose anything.  So although I don't see much of a difference in myself right now, just knowing that I've lost 12 pounds makes me feel wonderful.  I'm really excited and I hope I can keep this up!!  (Shaun has lost 11 pounds so far, if you wondered)  So here is my spiffy weight-loss ticker - it's pie!